Bathroom Etiquette

This may be a bit inappropriate but I don’t care. There is a gross misunderstanding of what is acceptable in a public bathroom and I aim to correct it.

Notice I said public. Whatever you do in your own bathroom at home is on you. Just don’t expect me to come over if it isn’t up to par. However, when it comes to a public restroom, that is visited by many people everyday, you need to understand some things are not ok.

Disclaimer: I am a male and as such this post will mostly focus on a male’s perspective. However ladies, I encourage you to share your tips and experiences. Let’s begin today’s lesson.

1. Lock the door

This could be the stall door to the toilet or the main door if it’s a single person bathroom. If you are in a space that is designed for one person, lock the damn door. I cannot tell you the number of times I have walked into a bathroom/stall that was unlocked yet occupied. There are some things that I, or any person whatsoever, do not want to see. One of those things is what on the other side of a door that should have been locked. It takes very little time and almost no physical strength and yet it can saves hundreds of awkward situations from happening.

2. Keep conversation to a minimum

Better yet, let’s not talk at all. There is nothing in this world so important that you need to speak to me while I am “busy” unless the fixture is going to malfunction. Let’s face it, that rarely happens. If both of us are washing our hands then maybe that is acceptable. Best case scenario: wait until we walk out of the bathroom.

3. Clean up your mess

I understand that you do not want to sit directly on the toilet so you lay toilet paper on the seat. That’s cool. But when you are done, flush it. Don’t make someone else have to do it for you. They don’t want to sit on the paper you sat on anymore than you want to sit on the toilet.

Paper towels go in the trash can. Not on the floor or sink. Someone has to clean that up. Before you start, making a mess does not ensure job security for the employees. While I am on this subject, flush the damn toilet. Where the hell were you raised that you think it’s OK to leave a toilet in that condition.

4. Put the phone away

One of my biggest issues is being on the phone with someone while they are using the bathroom. To me, it is not even a question. I do not need to talk to you while I am in the restroom. It can wait. However, some people don’t have the slightest clue how offensive that is. In fact, they are so oblivious that they do nothing to cover the fact of where they are. They are just as loud as can be while taking care of business. Then while they are on the phone they walk out without washing their hands. O_o

So you are advertising to everyone how little you care for personal hygiene. Now they know not to ever touch you or your phone. Which brings me to my last point…

5. Wash your damn hands

I feel like this should be a given. It’s unnerving that this seems to be an issue but it is. What happens in the bathroom is not sanitary in the least. In fact, the bathroom is the most germ-ridden room in a house. No excuse you can come up with justifies leaving a bathroom without some soap and hot water cascading down your hands. It’s appalling that people can’t seem to grasp this concept.


I would love to hear about your mishaps and annoyances. Let me know. Do you know someone who may benefit from my lesson? I encourage you implore you to share this with them. Help me make this world a little cleaner.

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